Welcome to the first installment of “Ask the ASS” Mondays. Bare with me as I cum up with the best format for this. Feel free to leave suggestion on how this would be more reader friendly. Some of the more lengthy questions I might have to give a full explanation in a separate post. I like the fact that everyone can see each others questions, it creates discussion among my readers. I think I will it towards the end of every week. If you can’t wait put them in my shout box. So now that the formalities are out of the way let the games begin.
1.CED – How to hit the MUTE BUTTON on a person who talks all the time? Avoiding violence.*If physically walking away in the middle of their conversation is too rude, then proceed to walk away mentally. Mentally walking away to whatever makes you happy… for me its usually on the back of my future yacht with a cigar in my hand surrounded by friends and family
2.Confession7girl - Personal Likes/Dislikes
*I don’t like JOBS. They give very little time and money. Its only good for taking care of habits like eating, bathing, and clothing… until you start your own company.
3.CapCity - Who came up with “opinions are like an ASSHOLE everyone has one?”
*This probably came from some uptight person that was pissed off at an Asshole and this was the most cunning thing their small brain could come up with.
4.Webmitress - My thought on tailgating pricks and people that are rude in traffic.
*They motivate me to do what I need to do to get my chauffer driven car, helicopter, yacht and plane. When the curtains are closed on a Rolls Royce Phantom you can’t even see the pricks. And of course by air or sea there is no traffic.
5.Jim – Would I ever ban him? Keshi posting her picture every second blog.
*I wouldn’t ban anybody her. People are free to speak their mind at me or any topic that is written. I go ban from a blog once and the people that know me weren’t surprised that I didn’t even last a week. Keshi is very attractive so I don’t mind her posting her picture
6.Keshi – What is the best thing about oral sex?*Wow the best thing? That’s really hard to say… it depends on who I’m eating. Sometimes its hearing her ask “Why are you doing this to me?” the look on her face that says “I can’t believe he made me cum this hard” or if I come across a real arrogant women I enjoy watching her try to run around the bed trying not to have a hard orgasm.
7.Prince – Food/Gaming
*Not sure what was the real question. But I like spicy food and I like madden football.
8.Rajeev - Pamela Lee’s Breast
*Pam Lee or Pam Anderson? I enjoy breast that are propionate to one’s body, but hers are nice to look at though. Didn’t she get a breast reduction in hopes of being taken more seriously?
9.Girl Girl – Why have I been absent from your life?*I haven’t look down in between your legs. Ha ha just been working too hard this last week, so I haven’t been up here as much.
10.Oral sex suxus
*I don’t think it sucks, but its always a plus if you can couple oral sex with mental stimulation and “hitting the bottom.” You got to put the whole package together.
11.Confession7girl/Nefty – What makes a woman irresistible or attractive?*For me ambition is the biggest aphrodisiac. A good self image is a sign she is comfortable in her own skin. A must for me is long hair, at least long enough to grab. It needs to be soft to the touch because I love playing in it.
12.Women – Mates vs. Flings
*That a whole separate post and plus I need some type of research to discuss that.
13.Sugar – When should a couple do the nasty and is there ever a time when she gives it up too quick?*This is a good one. When? When both parties are comfortable taking the relationship there. Timing is heavily dependent on the communication of what each other want. If its just a physical thing then well tonight, but if you are interested in dating this person then take the time to learn about each other. Often because of society a lot of men and women lie about what they really want. If you just want a physical relationship then say that. Don’t tell me about trivial shit that doesn’t matter. If you are trying to date me then should start filling out a questionnaire and look at the requirement and see if you even want to apply.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Ask The Ass
I going to dedicate every Monday to a reader's choice subject or as I like to called "Ask The Ass" Mondays. You can pic an subject and I will give you a post from an asshole's perspective. Put you topics in today and I will see you next monday to see which topic makes it.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Life on Location
As you can see in the above video I'm enjoying my day. Being out on the water is extremely calming. So I'm sitting here drink in hand watching Game 2 of the NBA finals with friends.... Then I started thinking (you tend to do tis when you only have 70 feet of distractions before you hit the water.)
Friday I'm at a business mixer with a friend talking to a potential client aout chartering a yacht. My friend describes the yacht as simply space and what it intells is simply limited by your imagination. His initial services were dinner cruises, day spa and romantic kidnapping. Then he had other clients ask for a "girls night-out" pj party and a moraccan themed cruise.
Thinking a little further... LIFE is kind a like this boat I'm laying on... Its simply a space a space in time; what all it in intells is simply up to your imagination. "you have not becasue you ask not." You are the cpatain of the boat how d you want this space? Do you want to write that book; build that hospital; get that jet; buy that island; visit that monument, etc. Do you really? Picking that destination is so important. Like driving a car at night you can only see 200ft in front of you, but you have faith that you will get to your destination.
So lets take it to the next step, no just where do you want to go but what would you e wiling to give up to get there? Guilt, fear, doubt, your "secure job", fitting in etc.
What do you want out of life and what are you willing to give up to get there?
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Eating Pussy
It looks like the ladies won out on the voting process!!! So Eating Pussy it is. Don't worry I will get to the other ones.
On my second tag post "Interview with an ASSHOLE" my tongue was the answer to "What body part do you get most complimented on?" Even though it is a great thing to hear "job well done" it was almost a fatal flaw... once almost sufficating myself. A few women that post comments frequently on my site thought that it was worthly of post and guys your free to take notes.
I think the title says it all "Eating Pussy" Its an art that requires both mental and physical skills that can be learned. Before I share how I almost sufficated women... please keep her trimmed up. Its for your own good!!! You can feel more of my tongue and other things if it is tightly trimmed or completely shaven. Also keep it smelling good and if nature didn't make her taste good, there is plenty of flavors you can buy at your nearest adult store. Now back to my story....
Suffication... First thing to know is that women are emotional creatures that need to be mentally stimulated, which will lead to harder and multiple orgasms. I flirt 24/7 why? because before I eat a woman, she has already invisioned being eaten. When we are not together she will remember something sexual I whispered in her ear or sent her in a text message. Learn to turn anything she says into something sexual. Sending her a suggestive text message in the middle of a serious meeting also works wonders. When those text messages or comments are linked to things she can physically touch and see the effect will be multiplied, because she will think of you everytime she cums in contact with that object. For example my women can not sit at their desk without thinking of me under it, they can't pour syrup on their pancakes without thinking of themselves on my breakfast menu, etc. I could go on but you get the picture. The more objects that they cum in contact with that reminds them of you and cumming the better. This is most important step and will make the rest easy.
Here are several ways in which to eat pussy for the maximun effect. First you can go with the basics to get your technique down (pun intended). With the woman lying on her back simply go down on her. Now when eating pussy think of your tongue as an artist would his brush. Your finger(s) is also a brush that must be used similtaneously to stimulate multiple spots at the same time. He doesn't just throw panint at the canvis and neither should you throw you tongue around with no thought. Prep the pussy before you dive in. Its like a baked potatoe you have to open it up and get it wet before you dig in. Harder is not always better, be sure to communicate with each other. To maximize this position put a pillow under her back... it opens her up more.
Secondly you can eat her from the back, by putting her on her knees. With this a part of the pussy that normally does not get as much attention is the main course. Besides being on her knees this will also work with her bent over an object like a chair, the bed, a desk, a sink, the kitchen counter, etc.
Thirdly eat them while they are standing up. When cumming their knees will become weak, literally. Now for added effect throw one leg over your shoulder. Trying to concentrate standing on one leg while cumming is a difficult task. Beside I get a kick out of seeing them grab the door handle to keep themselves up or falling on the floor altogether. To enhance this position position her to where she is looking at a full length mirror so that she can watch you eat her out from several angles.
The fourth should only be done after one or more of the first three are done. Pussy sitting on my face was how i almost sufficated. First rule of this is to learn how to hold your breath for a really long time. When orgasming she will forget that you need to breath. If the woman has never had someone do this to her she is going to ask "you want me to do what?" You tell her to climb up on your face and feed daddy that pussy. She will like the fact that she seems to be in control. I must also recommend that you get the paint you can wipe down with soap and water. I have makeup stains on the wall above my bed. While cumming they will be grabbing the wall and putting their face against it while cursing you for making them cum and orgasm so hard.
May the rest of your days be filled with many orgasms and if you haven't already SIT on someone's FACE today!!! :-]~
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Sunday, June 3, 2007
The Cure
It was requested that I write a story... So I did. Its a story that starts at the ending and the ending begins wit me and you. Do enjoy!
The Cure is a journey. A journey called destiny. A destiny filled with romance, love, hate, sorrow, joy, pain and much more. To experience joy is to have experience sorrow, to celebrate a win you must have lost a game or two. I enjoy the rays of sunshine because my face has beaten by the rain. All these emotions come through living out ones destiny. Destiny is not something that happens by chance. It only happens when one makes decisions to chase a dream. When in pursuit of these dreams, your dreams will pursue you. The Cure is a tale of two men unalike other than their common thread to live a purpose filled life. These thin threads commonly known as occurrences connect many pieces of the puzzle called fate. The fate of these two men and the world rest on ones ability to live a purpose fill life that will ultimately affect the destiny of mankind.
When taking any journey one must first know the destination in order to chart the route he should take. The destination is where we will start. Imagine a world where no disease can destroy man or a section of mankind, as some believe to be planned events. In order to conceive this one must be willing to remove the limitations of “reality.” Reality is nothing more than ones world that he or she has architected using self-imposed limitations as the mortar to hold it together. Man only uses on average 5% of their brain capacity. Some of our top performers like Einstein used less than 15. Top performing athletes; train hours on end to get their body to do amazing things. The four minute mile once perceived to be un-accomplishable by man, was broken because one man decided it was not impossible. Since that sunny day many men have broken through that wall of impossibilities. The mere existence of rules and records is to spear man’s inter-self to push him and others beyond that point. Pushing past the mental block that ask why, and start asking why not? This competitive nature of man shows its face everywhere. Bath Ruth’s’ records broken by Mark McGuire only lasted a few years to be broken by Barry Bonds. The phenomenon known as Michael Jordan, Air Jordan or simply MJ, birthed such talent of LeBron James and Kobe Bryant who emulate his greatness. The definition of an empire was forever changed by the legendary Roman Empire. The bar of a wealth of a nation is reset time and time again by the world power The United States of America. However un-united we are at times; nobody has yet got on a water craft to sail away from our shores. And however traitorous Our past history is, men made the most of opportunities they were presented with. Destiny, the thin threads created by our decisions, once again has brought the stage of opportunity to prove that we are the greatest nation birthing our greatest resource… our people.
AIDS, possibly the world’s most unforgiving social disaster, a silent killer that lurks for it prey. Every year this assassin strikes without ones knowledge, only for years later for that person to die from his accuracy. Some would argue that slavery vs. holocaust or 911vs Katrina for the top title in human disasters. Not to take away from those tragedies, AIDS has done far more. We knew when the shackles of slavery were clamped; we knew when they were broken. We knew when the plane hit the twins; we know when we bombed them back. AIDS however, does not show it face for many years. Going undetected in ones body for years it lurks waiting to strike. Since there is no defense for this disease it comes and goes as it pleases. How many people really have it, when its attacks are made up of stealth tactics? To date… These are just the ones that we know about. How people are floating through life who do not see the assassin’s shadow lurking over there prey? How many of these floaters are freely giving their friends, family and those one night stands that are hiding in the closet the mark. The mark, allows the assassin to come and go undetected by the human eye. The mark has been recorded more million kills to date, but how many more will drop? Thousands, hundreds of Thousands or more like millions more will drop if The Cure is not found.
We plan to cure the world of from this deadly assassin, using its many alias AIDS sometimes HIV or the silent killer. The Cure is journey of two men’s destiny whose thin threads are intertwined with many other men’s thin threads that will lead to the assassination of the assassin.
Now that we know were we are going we can start at the beginning.
The Cure is a journey. A journey called destiny. A destiny filled with romance, love, hate, sorrow, joy, pain and much more. To experience joy is to have experience sorrow, to celebrate a win you must have lost a game or two. I enjoy the rays of sunshine because my face has beaten by the rain. All these emotions come through living out ones destiny. Destiny is not something that happens by chance. It only happens when one makes decisions to chase a dream. When in pursuit of these dreams, your dreams will pursue you. The Cure is a tale of two men unalike other than their common thread to live a purpose filled life. These thin threads commonly known as occurrences connect many pieces of the puzzle called fate. The fate of these two men and the world rest on ones ability to live a purpose fill life that will ultimately affect the destiny of mankind.
When taking any journey one must first know the destination in order to chart the route he should take. The destination is where we will start. Imagine a world where no disease can destroy man or a section of mankind, as some believe to be planned events. In order to conceive this one must be willing to remove the limitations of “reality.” Reality is nothing more than ones world that he or she has architected using self-imposed limitations as the mortar to hold it together. Man only uses on average 5% of their brain capacity. Some of our top performers like Einstein used less than 15. Top performing athletes; train hours on end to get their body to do amazing things. The four minute mile once perceived to be un-accomplishable by man, was broken because one man decided it was not impossible. Since that sunny day many men have broken through that wall of impossibilities. The mere existence of rules and records is to spear man’s inter-self to push him and others beyond that point. Pushing past the mental block that ask why, and start asking why not? This competitive nature of man shows its face everywhere. Bath Ruth’s’ records broken by Mark McGuire only lasted a few years to be broken by Barry Bonds. The phenomenon known as Michael Jordan, Air Jordan or simply MJ, birthed such talent of LeBron James and Kobe Bryant who emulate his greatness. The definition of an empire was forever changed by the legendary Roman Empire. The bar of a wealth of a nation is reset time and time again by the world power The United States of America. However un-united we are at times; nobody has yet got on a water craft to sail away from our shores. And however traitorous Our past history is, men made the most of opportunities they were presented with. Destiny, the thin threads created by our decisions, once again has brought the stage of opportunity to prove that we are the greatest nation birthing our greatest resource… our people.
AIDS, possibly the world’s most unforgiving social disaster, a silent killer that lurks for it prey. Every year this assassin strikes without ones knowledge, only for years later for that person to die from his accuracy. Some would argue that slavery vs. holocaust or 911vs Katrina for the top title in human disasters. Not to take away from those tragedies, AIDS has done far more. We knew when the shackles of slavery were clamped; we knew when they were broken. We knew when the plane hit the twins; we know when we bombed them back. AIDS however, does not show it face for many years. Going undetected in ones body for years it lurks waiting to strike. Since there is no defense for this disease it comes and goes as it pleases. How many people really have it, when its attacks are made up of stealth tactics? To date… These are just the ones that we know about. How people are floating through life who do not see the assassin’s shadow lurking over there prey? How many of these floaters are freely giving their friends, family and those one night stands that are hiding in the closet the mark. The mark, allows the assassin to come and go undetected by the human eye. The mark has been recorded more million kills to date, but how many more will drop? Thousands, hundreds of Thousands or more like millions more will drop if The Cure is not found.
We plan to cure the world of from this deadly assassin, using its many alias AIDS sometimes HIV or the silent killer. The Cure is journey of two men’s destiny whose thin threads are intertwined with many other men’s thin threads that will lead to the assassination of the assassin.
Now that we know were we are going we can start at the beginning.
Friday, June 1, 2007
My Favorite MILF
I want to make an announcement about my Favorite MILF. This week she is coming out with her first published book of poetry, Lavish Line/Luscious Lies. Some of you might know her as Girly Girl or her gov't name Saadia, but she can now be known as Andrew's Favorite MILF... don't worry she will answer to that.
This weekend she is NYC promoting her new book at the BookExpo of America. There is 500 pre-release copies. I happen to have one personally signed, now the rest of the Asshole Nation and the mortals can stop by Barnes and Nobles.com and Amazon.com to get your copy.
You might remember her ASS Poem she wrote for me, now you can get her 1st volume.
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