When in Rome...

I have a freind who works in retail that experienced some racially motivated comments. This event took place in Miami, which some refer to as the capital of Latin America.

She helped a gentleman with some merchandise. The gentleman assuming she was latin american began to speak to her in spanish. Letting him know she spoke very little spansih she responded, "Poquito Espanol" He finished the transaction in English. Leaving the store the gentleman's 4 yr. old son asked his Dad how someone could live in Miami and not speak spanish?

This was not an elderly person that is "too" old to learn... This is a 4 YEAR OLD!!! You should not go to another country and get mad because they don't speak your langauge! That is rude and inconsiderate. But so is me saying, "Remake your raft and sail back to your country in the same raft you came in on!"




"When in Rome do as the Romans Do." - Somebody important

Join The Club!!!!

Andrew the Asshole is a very sexual person. I’m looking for something new and exciting to add to my repertoire. The basics are your fruits: strawberries and grapes. The intermediates are your sweets: chocolate syrup, maple syrup, honey and ice cream (one of my nicknames is Baskin Robbins, I love to EAT…Ice cream!) I’m introducing a new trend… If you follow the following steps you to can join this prestigious club… The THANKSGIVING CLUB.

At the end of the below clip you will notice a lady buttered up like a turkey and thanksgiving. There lies my inspiration beyond this article.


So I started thinking of a new way to show your affection for your lady. Before you start cooking your significant other dinner, be sure you have the following items: Butter, a sauce brush and some dinner rollers. There is nothing more romantic than a candle light dinner, but we’re going to take dinner to a whole NEW level of ecstasy.

Start by cooking your significant other their favorite dish. While cooking, have a bottle of wine and flirtatious conversation. Flirting is more than what you saw it’s how you say it; how you look while saying it; how you touch them while you say it.

As the entrée and sides are nearing completion, work up the sexual tension between the two. After several long passionate kisses proceed to proclaim your desire for them is just as strong as your hunger for the food. This flattery will excite your partner, but what are words without action?

In a flirtatious sexual tone tell her to grab the food and take it to the bedroom. Put the different sides in serving bowls and your main entrée on a large plate. While you and your significant other are doing this put the butter in the microwave ‘til it melts. Send your partner to the bedroom with the package of rolls and for them to take off all their clothes. Once in the room proceed to BUTTER them UP…Literally!!! Forget the candle light dinner with rose petals this a candle light dinner on a BED of BUTTERED Rolls.

You heard it here first… Follow these steps and you will be part of this global brother and sisterhood… THE THANKSGIVING CLUB

Now let us give thanks for this FOOD we are getting ready to EAT!!!

Overcome To Become!!!!

I have a friend that has a fear of frogs. The fear is to point you could call it a phobia. She can't even look at a pictures. I was thinking of the best way to help her overcome her fears? I feel the best way to overcome is to get face to face with your fear. So is me throwing a bucket of frogs at her helping overcome her fears or am I just being an ass?

Nature's Fix

Brazilian women are arguably some of the most beautiful women in the world. They come in all flavors from blonde hair blue eyes to your chocolate brown. To top it over their intoxicating accent whispers “Ummm Papi!” in your ear makes them a commodity. Brazil is a hilly country and many people walk, so their bodies are normally fit. I recently found out that they are manufactured beauties. Brazil spends more money on cosmetic surgery per capita than anywhere in the world.

This brings me to the subject of cosmetic surgery. Some may think this is a shallow way to spend money, but I beg to differ. Don’t think this only applies to women, Men should go get fixed as well. Don’t feel like going to the gym 4x’s a week, buy a chest. If you frown all the time, get a face lift. Maybe your girl didn’t leave you because you weren’t listening, but because you couldn’t give her any “Act-Right” (Good Sex).

Many studies have been done to prove that sexually desired people make more money than the undesirable. Even if you make $50K and the difference is 10% that’s a $200K over your working career. At a $20K investment that is a 1000% return on investment. Not to mention the fringe benefits of looking good. Your teacher gives you better grades through school. Your boss lets you take longer lunch, and don’t forget all the free dinner and gifts you get for looking good.

Cosmetic surgery will increase your self-esteem. The higher your self-esteem, the happier and easier your life will be. So if nature didn’t make you perfect, get help by getting fixed. You already do it with diet pills and hair products, why not take the next step?

RED or BLUE Pill????

Like Morpheus offering Neo, I can only offer you the truth. Some of you reading this will go research how far the rabbit hole goes others of you will go on being delusional. But the red pill has been offered to you...

What if everything you had grown up believing wasn’t really as it appeared, what if it wasn’t true, would you want to know or would you want to live ignorance? Most people’s believe systems are based on their background, or either they rebel and go to the other extreme. Two major divisions of people today are Race and the Political party. What if neither really mattered? I know your saying but there has to be that separation. Do Democrats really care about black people, Do Republics really only care about only white people? Is there that much difference between blacks and whites?

The Art of War, The 48 Laws of Power and many other social studies books all dedicate chapters to the strategy of “Divide and Conquer.” Democrats don’t care about Black people, they simply market their policies to the poor and lower middle class. While, Republicans cater their policies to the middle class and rich. If you look at the races, there is not a drastic difference in culture among the races in the same income bracket.


How do politicians get elected? They must run many ads through various forms of media, all of which takes enormous amounts of money. So who is funding this? Well considering that 80% of the world’s wealth is controlled by less than 20% of the population, they both have to go to the same people for money. Regardless of who wins they both get paid from the same people. We live in the United States of America, the democratic society of the selected. So does your vote really matter… well lets follow the money trail through history.

We’ll start with the current administration. The popular believe is that we would not have gone to war if it wasn’t for Bush and Chaney. Bush who raised a record amount of money for both his terms, but what would have happened if he lost? Democrat, Kerry would have won, who is also member of Yale’s elite secret society, Skull and Bones. The Bush family has been members since the founding of the organization in the late 1800’s. Even though Chaney is not a member himself, there are 8 Chaney’s on the membership list. Out of the 56 appointed positions, 43 are Bones men. Kerry’s administration would not have looked any different. The organization likes war because it lines the pockets of business that profit from war: oil, manufacturing of military goods and its suppliers.

In April of 2001 a gentlemen, Larry Silverstein, purchased building 7 of the WOTC for $15 million. During the summer months he secured a 3.5 billion dollar insurance policy for acts of terrorism. Several months later 9/11 magically happens out of nowhere. He made the argument that because 2 planes hit it was 2 separate acts of terrorism. He was awarded $7 billion. This was the same government building that Mayor Gulioni’s emergency quarters were, yet he decided to heroically run through the streets. This 47 story building was brought down with a couple fires scattered through the building.

In Charlotte, NC the mayor firmly stood against the building of a new stadium for the Bobcats. The city even voted against it. However after the mayor had a meeting with the wealthy of Charlotte (the people who keep him in office by funding his campaign) where the question was asked if he want to be anything more than a mayor? A few days later the stadium was approved by the mayor despite a public vote.

There are many more examples such as the Bay of Pigs, JFK assassination and the attempted Reagan assassination. When you follow the money they always lead back to elite organizations (Skull & Bones, Bohemian Grove, Illuminati, Bilderberg Group, Federal Reserve,) and certain bloodlines (Bush, Rothchild, Vanderbilt, Morgan and Rochafella). In the end money and banking wins, but of course you can just take the blue pin and all of this could just be a coincidence and none of it really happened…

Go Vote!!!

Nobody Gives A Damn!!

All though this clip from 2007 hit movie, "The Departed" is 4 minutes. The most important thing was said in the begining, "Nobody gives a DAMN, if you want something you have to take it!"

The Black community can stand to take notes from the most recent imagrants, Spanish/Latin Community. In a third of the time that Blacks have been in the country, Spanish people have influence every part of our America culture. America has changed the labels, street signs and any other government signs to be translated into spanish.

Older Spanish people who have been here 20 years and they still don't know English; they don't plan on learning, but Americans are learning Spanish at a very high rate. America has even resorted to pressing 1 for English in America.

They have told our government and the rest of America that they are walking, running or sailing across the boarder unapologeticly. They land and take advantage of the free enterprise system known as capitalism. Oh but, is that how we all got here?

The Spanish community and all most every other race has figured this out... Expect for Coloreds aka Black aka African Americans, as the name has changed through history.

"Nobody gives a DAMN, if you want something you have to take it!!"

Only time will tell how much the IMUS/Rutgers situation and the up and coming presidental race will progress the Black Community. Will that take there place in history or will they continue to play the role of society's victim?

House Guest From HELL!!!!!!!!!

When you are friends with someone you go out of your way to be a good host and open up your home to them. Staying in Miami, friends and family naturally invite themselves to my place on a regular basis. If I lived in another part of the country I would never see these people, but 80-degree weather in January seems to attract them year-round. A decent hotel will run you $150 a night--$400 if you want to see some water--and a car to get around in will be another $200. These House Guest from Hell are saving over $800, plus they get the sheer benefit of staying with me, and you really can't put a price on that. My guests this particular weekend were two women, older, multi-cultural, and in their early 30's, which are my favorite. These women had cabin fever. They could not wait to hang with a fine brother, like myself, on South Beach… but I disgress.

This weekend started like any Miami day… 80 degrees with a slight breeze, Mojito in hand (For the uncultured, it's a great Latin drink--keep up!), sand between the toes, and tan women from around the globe laying topless on South Beach. There I lay between two women and surrounded by 100's more. Dream life for most, but the typical Miami lifestyle for the locals.

Sounds great right??? BUT...before we could even get to the first Mojito, things begin to go wrong.

When picking their asses up from the airport my gas tank was getting low. I stopped by the gas station to fill up. Do they offer to pay?… No!!! They want to spend that $800 I'm saving them on shopping, I suppose. I wasn't upset, but it registered in the back of my mind.

Driving home we engage in friendly conversation. They begin to ask about my TV show that I have been working on. Little did I know that Krystal, the oldest one, worked for a local TV station back in Colorado; while the younger one, Kodi, had a major in TV at the University of Know-It-All (or Univ of KIA). She offered her professional opinion on why people would not watch it. Even when moving to a new subject she continued to bring it up. Just let it go!

Next we hit South Beach. We go over the bridge with Star Island to our left, where the sun shined off the glimmering ocean. Even though it was noon the streets buzzed with people. Driving down Collins Avenue, the conversation shifts to women. With a heighten excitement Kodi asks “Did you see that lady?” Not certain of which bikini-clad woman she was speaking of I responded, “No, which one?” In disbelief she went on about how great this other chick looked and how I had to have seen her. Low Self-Esteem is so unattractive. I didn't realize which one she was talking about because Miami is filled with exotic women from over 85 countries, so you learn not to turn your head because the next block over there will be another exotic chick that looks just as good. Then they proceed to talk down about their bodies, how they can't compare to these women and how all these people are shallow for looking so good in comparison to them. Yeah, they were right... their European-mix did not put them past a 6, by Miami standards, but don't be mad cause you weren't blessed with good genes; or might it have something to do with that milk shake you are holding in your hands? Maybe, maybe not.

We finally reach the parking garage where parking is $15, which is not unusual. They begin to complain about the cost. Keep in mind that I am saving them a ton of money! They paid, but only because I had no cash. Next, we stop by the Clevelander Hotel, where their outside bars attract tourist starting at 10 am. Mojito time!!! Everything cost a little more in Miami. Our two drinks ran us a little over $20. Kodi reluctantly paid for the drinks on our way to the sand. Before we could get settled on the beach to tan, they begin to complain about the topless women, not because they were offended, but because hers were small by comparison. All I could think was "spare me...just get implants." With all this complaining I look for an out… I call my Uncle who happens to be taking one of his 3-hour lunches from the Private Bank at Bank of America. I met him for lunch. At lunch we discussed the 3 W's that make Miami a paradise: Weather, Water and Women.

Back to reality, I go back to the beach to catch a quick nap. After they finished lying out they were hungry, so we grab lunch at the Clevelander. Being a good host and friend I saved them a couple hundred dollars by making arrangements to get my friend's jeep so that they could use my car for the weekend. We had to go meet him to get the jeep. Because they wanted to lay out we had to go do this during 5-o'clock traffic. Their ungrateful asses complained about how long it took to get the jeep.

We have to hurry to make it back out to South Beach to actually go out. While getting dressed her Fashion Degree from Univ. of KIA accessed my fashionable attire for the night. We were delayed by her self-consciousness of her short hair cut. The long haired women of Miami made her spend an extra hour straightening her subpar hair-do. The hour was in vain since staring at it will not make it grow.

By the time we made it back onto South Beach parking was up to $20. They bitched about paying for this of course. We meet a couple of my guy friends at Clevelander, to start the night off. Ladies got in free but guys were $10, not once did they offer to pay for this out of their $800 savings! Krystal does not drink, even though she seems to be the wilder of the two. She paid for one shot for me and her, which ended up being around $30. She complained, of course! We finally got a call from a friend that was going to get us into this really nice hotel, Singapore. The whole first floor is in all white and equipped with pool table, fine art, sculptures, two bars, and a restaurant. The inside was buzzing, but outside was packed. The outside was filled with beautiful well dressed people, ice sculptures, flat screens, a DJ, two bars, and all white beds that surrounded the pool. Nobody paid to get in, and once again they didn't offer to pick up one drink for me. Not to mention they looked like they were miserable at such a nice place.

Its about 1:30 am and at this point we go back to the Clevelander--which pales in comparison to the Singapore--to party. These old women seemed more at home with these ghetto college students then they did at the hotel. We finally leave out at 4:30 to grab some pizza, which once again they didn't pay for mine.

After worked I called, Kodi to let her know I would be home soon. She was having a hard time sleeping, because she was hungry. I was headed to Wendy's but she wanted pizza and even offered to pick up the tab. Cool, but the pizza places were closed. IHOP was open so I offered to stop there. I got home and we ate together. Afterwards she looked at the bill and asked how much she owed me. I think you offered to pay and the bill is $32, so your ass owes me $32, right??! Wrong! She puts $15 on the table and goes to bed without saying good night or thank you.

The last day, they offered to buy me dinner for helping them save $800 and it was also my birthday. I spoke with them several times during the day and we still had not decided on what type of food. I came home to get ready, and as I get out the shower they informed me that they wanted to go bowling and that they would pick up tab there. Who wants hot dogs and hamburgers? "Not I" said the birthday boy. Then the truth comes out that we were meeting another guy that Krystal had met to bowl. After saving your ass $800, I want some real food at a real restaurant. Then they ask if I could still take them to the airport the next morning.

With a smile on my face I told them that they needed to pack their bags and get the guy we were meeting at the bowling ally to take them to the airport. They laughed and asked if I was serious? As Serious the $800 I saved you? Yes! They had an attitude all the way down to the curb.

In their haste to leave they left a black box. Upon further investigation I realize it's a jewelry box…It all comes full circle. A couple diamond tennis bracelets and diamond earings. They emailed me about them. I gave them my mailing address to where they could mail me $500 for their jewelry. They must think I'm playing so I am sending them the ebay link were they can purchase their own jewelry back.