Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Join The Club!!!!


Andrew the Asshole is a very sexual person. I’m looking for something new and exciting to add to my repertoire. The basics are your fruits: strawberries and grapes. The intermediates are your sweets: chocolate syrup, maple syrup, honey and ice cream (one of my nicknames is Baskin Robbins, I love to EAT…Ice cream!) I’m introducing a new trend… If you follow the following steps you to can join this prestigious club… The THANKSGIVING CLUB.

At the end of the below clip you will notice a lady buttered up like a turkey and thanksgiving. There lies my inspiration beyond this article.


So I started thinking of a new way to show your affection for your lady. Before you start cooking your significant other dinner, be sure you have the following items: Butter, a sauce brush and some dinner rollers. There is nothing more romantic than a candle light dinner, but we’re going to take dinner to a whole NEW level of ecstasy.

Start by cooking your significant other their favorite dish. While cooking, have a bottle of wine and flirtatious conversation. Flirting is more than what you saw it’s how you say it; how you look while saying it; how you touch them while you say it.

As the entrée and sides are nearing completion, work up the sexual tension between the two. After several long passionate kisses proceed to proclaim your desire for them is just as strong as your hunger for the food. This flattery will excite your partner, but what are words without action?

In a flirtatious sexual tone tell her to grab the food and take it to the bedroom. Put the different sides in serving bowls and your main entrée on a large plate. While you and your significant other are doing this put the butter in the microwave ‘til it melts. Send your partner to the bedroom with the package of rolls and for them to take off all their clothes. Once in the room proceed to BUTTER them UP…Literally!!! Forget the candle light dinner with rose petals this a candle light dinner on a BED of BUTTERED Rolls.

You heard it here first… Follow these steps and you will be part of this global brother and sisterhood… THE THANKSGIVING CLUB

Now let us give thanks for this FOOD we are getting ready to EAT!!!

16 comments:

Jewel Rays said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jewel Rays said...

A real Good post i like it. :D

~Jewel

Jazzy said...

Ummmm....hmmmm...wow...what to say what to say.

You had me with the "basics" and the "intermediates", but the butter definitely made me shudder and not in a good way.

Have you ever smelled plain melted butter or had melted butter all over your sheets? Wait...don't answer that.

Very interesting read, but regrettably...lol...I'm going to have to take a pass on the Thanksgiving club.

Dex said...

Ah, I'll have to search something hard for someone to do this 'candlelight dinner' with :P
But seriously, sure we won't end up on a bedful of ants after this?

Andrew The Asshole said...

Jim you won't end up with a bed of ants, simply wash sheet afterward. You are more likely to end up with ant when using honey (not sure how I know that?)

I'm a fan of butter. If you like movie popcorn... surely you will like this.

Andrew The Asshole said...

What says I love you more than EATing dinner off your lover?

`NEFTY said...

Chocolate is the best! Thanksgiving too but that video...creepyyyy lol. Thanks 4 droppin by my blog.

Jazzy said...

OMG...just saw the video (didn't think it was sfw earlier)...I had to stop watching after the nekkit cheerleader on the trampoline. :-|

Defffffffffinitely agree with Nefty...though "creepyyy" is an understatement.

I feel like I'm one of those kids from The Ring.

Keshi said...

Im into food...ok I do have a food-fetish. But I dun like my sheets to be oily, smelly and full of ants LOL!

Keshi.

Andrew The Asshole said...

Keisha, wouldn't you be more likely to get ants when using honey or chocolate?

Andrew The Asshole said...

Diva, your right the movie is a little disturbing, but at the end there is a lady on the kitchen table buttered up like a turkey. May be I should just have a picture of a butterball turkey?

Nefty, I was really into chocolate the year my nickname was Baskin Robins

D said...

OMG! You don't seriously mean any of this????? I love food, so much that I wouldn't look at someone else if I had something utterly tempting to eat! Lol! Seems like I'm also gonna have to pass the offer to join the Thanksgiving Club.
And that video, who ever shot that?!

D said...

I think I want you on my blogroll :)

N@nc! said...

awww I dont think i would like to watch that video, brrrr:| its too much for me lolololol!!!
cuting heaDS and...fiuuu!!! :P

starry said...

Welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting.Please stop by again.Interesting post.Don't know what else to say.

Andrew The Asshole said...

Me, "You don't seriously mean any of this?"

LOL I guess the only to find out is to have dinner with me.

I would be honored to be on your blogroll. I'm new to this so can someone email and tell me how to do that?