Thursday, June 7, 2007

Eating Pussy


It looks like the ladies won out on the voting process!!! So Eating Pussy it is. Don't worry I will get to the other ones.

On my second tag post "Interview with an ASSHOLE" my tongue was the answer to "What body part do you get most complimented on?" Even though it is a great thing to hear "job well done" it was almost a fatal flaw... once almost sufficating myself. A few women that post comments frequently on my site thought that it was worthly of post and guys your free to take notes.

I think the title says it all "Eating Pussy" Its an art that requires both mental and physical skills that can be learned. Before I share how I almost sufficated women... please keep her trimmed up. Its for your own good!!! You can feel more of my tongue and other things if it is tightly trimmed or completely shaven. Also keep it smelling good and if nature didn't make her taste good, there is plenty of flavors you can buy at your nearest adult store. Now back to my story....

Suffication... First thing to know is that women are emotional creatures that need to be mentally stimulated, which will lead to harder and multiple orgasms. I flirt 24/7 why? because before I eat a woman, she has already invisioned being eaten. When we are not together she will remember something sexual I whispered in her ear or sent her in a text message. Learn to turn anything she says into something sexual. Sending her a suggestive text message in the middle of a serious meeting also works wonders. When those text messages or comments are linked to things she can physically touch and see the effect will be multiplied, because she will think of you everytime she cums in contact with that object. For example my women can not sit at their desk without thinking of me under it, they can't pour syrup on their pancakes without thinking of themselves on my breakfast menu, etc. I could go on but you get the picture. The more objects that they cum in contact with that reminds them of you and cumming the better. This is most important step and will make the rest easy.

Here are several ways in which to eat pussy for the maximun effect. First you can go with the basics to get your technique down (pun intended). With the woman lying on her back simply go down on her. Now when eating pussy think of your tongue as an artist would his brush. Your finger(s) is also a brush that must be used similtaneously to stimulate multiple spots at the same time. He doesn't just throw panint at the canvis and neither should you throw you tongue around with no thought. Prep the pussy before you dive in. Its like a baked potatoe you have to open it up and get it wet before you dig in. Harder is not always better, be sure to communicate with each other. To maximize this position put a pillow under her back... it opens her up more.

Secondly you can eat her from the back, by putting her on her knees. With this a part of the pussy that normally does not get as much attention is the main course. Besides being on her knees this will also work with her bent over an object like a chair, the bed, a desk, a sink, the kitchen counter, etc.

Thirdly eat them while they are standing up. When cumming their knees will become weak, literally. Now for added effect throw one leg over your shoulder. Trying to concentrate standing on one leg while cumming is a difficult task. Beside I get a kick out of seeing them grab the door handle to keep themselves up or falling on the floor altogether. To enhance this position position her to where she is looking at a full length mirror so that she can watch you eat her out from several angles.

The fourth should only be done after one or more of the first three are done. Pussy sitting on my face was how i almost sufficated. First rule of this is to learn how to hold your breath for a really long time. When orgasming she will forget that you need to breath. If the woman has never had someone do this to her she is going to ask "you want me to do what?" You tell her to climb up on your face and feed daddy that pussy. She will like the fact that she seems to be in control. I must also recommend that you get the paint you can wipe down with soap and water. I have makeup stains on the wall above my bed. While cumming they will be grabbing the wall and putting their face against it while cursing you for making them cum and orgasm so hard.

May the rest of your days be filled with many orgasms and if you haven't already SIT on someone's FACE today!!! :-]~

286 comments:

1 – 200 of 286   Newer›   Newest»
Sheletha said...

damn daddy, its like that???!!!

CapCity said...

liked the first video! couldn't finish nor take the second seriously, cuz that chick looks like Witchy-Poo. lol!

but, I do hope your male readers/visitors took notes!

Dream catcher said...

Andrew I am very disappointed today...really dont know about others...but seriously are you trying to make ur blog a porn blog??..anyways its ur blog its upto u..how you keep it n make it...thats what the beauty of "My space" means..we all get to do what we feel..

I have been regular to ur blog coz of its content and what its all about..the sarcasm and the insight have been amazing..

Now "Y" shd i visit ur place?? if i need to know about "orgasm" and "fuck" there are n number of places to go to..People know how to google things..( if someone is not aware of these stuff)..other way there is enough free porn to hook into

I have been an admirer of your writing,the way you said stuff and the insight u got..but this let me down..Is it the appreciation of people around making you do this ?? the act of showing cool...funky n out of crowd?? is it that desperate act??..

I feel very sad about this..just as friend i didn't expect this from you..

sorry for bothering you enough..as ur style u may call it an asshole opinion..n who gives a damn..tk

Miz JJ said...

Great post. The more education dudes get the better!

`NEFTY said...

That first video...
If I was that guy, I'd be turned the fu** out! LMAO

Rajeev said...

lol! I could use those tips :D!!!
*rofl*

peace & love
Jeevy

Steph said...

Hrmmm. Methinks I need to go have a shower now.

cheers!

Andrew The Asshole said...

dream catcher ~ This has been the first time that a female has complained about me going down?

As it states in my blog profile is that I will tackle any topic, including sex. An actually its a well written and structured post that my mainly female audience wanted to know how my tongue almost caused me to sufficate. This was step by step on how I did it.

Ladies/Gents ~ glad to offer tips to the fella and pleasure to the women.

Women fell free to have your man read this post... you're promised to have a couple orgasms. Its all about communication.

Man With Balls said...

Andrew, I think you deserve my moniker. You are not lacking in the cahonas department.

Keshi said...

OMG r u for real??

Keshi.

Andrew The Asshole said...

MWBALLLS ~ I have plenty of balls, but every man should eat pussy just like women should know how to return the favor.

Keshi ~ yes I am you read the detailed list so I do take pleasing you pretty serious.

Rell said...

Well wow -- not really sure what to say about that one.

nikki said...

informative and funny. i can't help but laugh at how thorough you are with the educating. hopefully folk took notes on most of what you've said.

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hottnikz said...

You almost sufficated? Funny shit!

Rachel said...

that was fucking brilliant! i enjoyed that thoroughly. think i need to change my knickers now. x

Mizrepresent said...

Wow! You show such an appreciation for the YUM-YUM! This kind of post should not be read at work....really...lol!

Webmiztris said...

damn, andrew, you sound like a pro!

very, uh, "cunning" cunnilingus post. ;)

Jim said...

u will make a good SEX COUNSELLOR

visit my SEX COUNSELLOR blog
this was real good

Jim said...

this guy here http://dailygaggle.blogspot.com/ is a real asshole


lets fuck him

Andrew The Asshole said...

Nikz ~ yeah i didn't think it was possible til it happened to me.

MizPres - I should have put a parental warning label on this one

Rachel ~ let me help you with those. I think I can take them off with my mouth.

Webmitrez ~ Thank you little momma

Jim ~ Yeah I think I could be a sex counseler. I really like the blog too.

Lola Gets said...

Man, if I could figure out how to to so anonomously, Id send this to my last crappy fuck, The Fast And The Furious (FAF)!
LMAOOOO
Lawd, that man needs something - and it aint me!
L

Kitty said...

Suffication... First thing to know is that women are emotional creatures that need to be mentally stimulated, which will lead to harder and multiple orgasms. I flirt 24/7 why? because before I eat a woman, she has already invisioned being eaten.


THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IN MY POST TODAY!

Made my pussy quiver just thinking about it.

Andrew The Asshole said...

Great minds think alike kitty. No need to fight the emotions you should use them to each others benefit.

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Damn, you sound nearly as good as my Chief. I left claw marks in the walls with him eating my pussy.

Thanks for telling me to read this, cause now I've DEFINITELY got to get Thumper out, you reminding what I'm missing out on with my man at war!

wynsters the tigress said...

andrew, i think you are a man after my own heart...

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