Why Do Men Die First??

A friend recently sent me this, I thought I would share it with you. It goes along with what I've said in the past.... Women's greatest strength is appearing weak.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework....you're a pansy. If you work too hard...there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay...you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her...that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ...its equal opportunity.


If you mention how nice she looks...its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet...its male indifference. If you cry...you're a wimp. If you don't...you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her...you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy...that's domination. If SHE asks you...it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...you're a pervert. If you don't...you're gay.


If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...you're sexist. If you don't...you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape...you're vain. If you don't...you're a slob. If you buy her flowers...you're after something. If you don't...you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements...you're full of yourself. If you don't...you're not ambitious. If she has a headache...she's tired. If you have a headache...you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often...you're oversexed. If you don't...there must be someone else.


Men die first because they want to.

Its Entertainment

The Mitchell report has shed a little light on the drug use of Major League Baseball. More than 60 players were named in the report. Because star players have been named this story is being covered on non-sporting news and talk shows. Sports are simply entertainment. People and the hobbies act like players shooting up is a disgrace, but is it really. Lets apply that same principle to other areas. Actors and Actresses spend lots of money in cosmetic surgery to enhance their sell-ablity. So are you not going to give an Actress an award because she added a couple of cup size or she had a brazillian butt lift? You are probably still going to see their next movie. Women are you not going to date a guy that take Viagor or other enhancement pills? Probably not, your going to continue to smile after every those orgasm. In the day of microwave success people want a competitive advantage and with as much money at stake risk are taken. Some of these things are morally wrong in public option, but its just entertainment and sterioded or human growth hormone injected athlete plays better. For my $75 they can take the stuff. It doesn't mean that they have to be a role model to your children.

300 Mexicans

Mexican invanding our border is a hot topic in this years political debates. Every country for security reasons should know who is coming in and out of their country. But we don't really want to get rid of them we just don't want them taking advantage of our public services that our middle class pays. I mean really imagine if you actually had to pay a union worker to cut your grass or clean your house. Most countries are built on the backs of slave or near slave workers. New countries emerge when the slave get tired of being part of the "empire." Immigrants aren't taking jobs they are giving the middle class a luxuries that the rich pay full price for. But the middle class can't afford to pay their "help" a real salary with benefits. As usual politican are playing on the fears of the middle class to keep everything at status quo.

Winter Time? What Winter?

I could write a deep article about problems of the world, but not today. Today I'm rubbing in the summer time. Living here in MIA, its still 75+. So shorts and bikinis are still going strong here. What better way to show off the city than Mike aka Stacks showing off the 1st convertible phantom at age 20. He's a pretty cool guy. I had a chance to hang out with him and his dad. Road trip anyone??

Holiday Special Lovin'

This was a thanksgiving special I just had to repost... I hope everyone had a great holiday.


Andrew the Asshole is a very sexual person. I’m looking for something new and exciting to add to my repertoire. The basics are your fruits: strawberries and grapes. The intermediates are your sweets: chocolate syrup, maple syrup, honey and ice cream (one of my nicknames is Baskin Robbins, I love to EAT…Ice cream!) I’m introducing a new trend… If you follow the following steps you to can join this prestigious club… The THANKSGIVING CLUB.

At the end of the below clip you will notice a lady buttered up like a turkey and thanksgiving. There lies my inspiration beyond this article.


So I started thinking of a new way to show your affection for your lady. Before you start cooking your significant other dinner, be sure you have the following items: Butter, a sauce brush and some dinner rollers. There is nothing more romantic than a candle light dinner, but we’re going to take dinner to a whole NEW level of ecstasy.

Start by cooking your significant other their favorite dish. While cooking, have a bottle of wine and flirtatious conversation. Flirting is more than what you saw it’s how you say it; how you look while saying it; how you touch them while you say it.

As the entrée and sides are nearing completion, work up the sexual tension between the two. After several long passionate kisses proceed to proclaim your desire for them is just as strong as your hunger for the food. This flattery will excite your partner, but what are words without action?

In a flirtatious sexual tone tell her to grab the food and take it to the bedroom. Put the different sides in serving bowls and your main entrée on a large plate. While you and your significant other are doing this put the butter in the microwave ‘til it melts. Send your partner to the bedroom with the package of rolls and for them to take off all their clothes. Once in the room proceed to BUTTER them UP…Literally!!! Forget the candle light dinner with rose petals this a candle light dinner on a BED of BUTTERED Rolls.

You heard it here first… Follow these steps and you will be part of this global brother and sisterhood… THE THANKSGIVING CLUB

Now let us give thanks for this FOOD we are getting ready to EAT!!!

Cougars Vs Jaguars

I thought this promo clip for new reality show was a perfect way to introduce this next topic. Age of Love ask the question is older women or younger women better. This 30 year old tennis star gets to date 7 women in their 40’s and 7 women in their 20’s. I don’t watch the show so I can’t tell you who wins, but let’s answer this question here in my Memoirs.

I think men are attracted to older women for the same reasons women like older men, its security and stability. Young people are a lot of fun, but to have a relationship with one is like riding a roller coaster. I think my love for older women started in high school. Being a star athlete in private school can create an ego, but you add an older woman that’s going to med and you could say I have had a swagger ever since.
When Demi Moore swooped young, model and actor Aston off his feet more than 15 years was between them. Newly pregnant Halle Berry’s baby daddy is a younger model. You can say the same thing for older men who have younger models. These are celebrities, but how does it work for the average person.

Older vs. Younger… Which is better and why?

Sexual Escapades of Ms. Robinson

Remember growing and having that one teacher you fantasized about… Hoping today would be the day they asked you to stay after class? Lately in the news there has been an increase in women being the culprit preying on the young men in their care.

Debra Lafave pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a 14 year old student, allowing her to escape jail time. She blamed the abuse on bipolar disorder. Pamela Rogers was charged with 15 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and 13 counts of statutory rape in 2005. Christine Coffey, 33, has been accused of having a sexual relationship with a 17 year old student, and of course Mary Kay LaTourneau was imprisoned for her relationship with her now-husband Vili Fualaau. The couple has two daughters. With the exception of LaTourneau, none of the women mentioned above serve time in prison, and LaTourneau's prison sentence was originally commuted until she was discovered in a parked car with Fualaau in defiance of the court's no-contact order.

Many female sex offenders do not view their actions as abuse, but rather as a romantic relationship. Lisa Lynette Clark, who was 37 when she became pregnant by her 15 year old victim, describes the boy as the love of her life and even went so far as to marry the boy without his parents' consent under a loophole in Georgia law that allows minors to marry if the bride is pregnant.

Most recently in the news has been 23 year old Allenna Williams Ward, allegedly have sex with some of her students. When the school district commented to the press that it has yet been determined whether she will lose her teacher’s license. Not been determine!! Is it me or has society not willing to acknowledge that women can be the aggressor? Or is that where women’s power in society lie… the perception that they are weak and should not be held responsible for their actions?

SuperMan That Ho!!

I'm sure all of us are familiar with Pop Music. There has been many argument in regards lyrics corrupting today's youth. This not one of those articles. I think high school would have been alot more fun if some of today's Pop Music was so widely accepted. Only in America do you have the high school beauty queen screaming SKET SKET on videos uploaded onto YouTube.

Do you remember the days that it was cool to be a gentlemen: open your lady's door, send flowers with sweet love poems? I remember those good ol' days. Now most women would consider that guy a punk.

What's popular now is Soulja Boy's song... Crank That. He has two line that I most people would publicly say was offensive language. "Super Soak that Ho" and "Superman that HO". It easy to guess what "Super Soak that Ho" is... This would the act of cumming on a female like a water gun. Now it took me a while to figure out what "Supermaning" a Ho was... When having sex from behind to ejaculate on her back. After she falls asleep you put a sheet on her back where you just cam on her back. When she wakes up the sheet will be dried to her back so when she stands up it looks like she has a cape on.

Soulja Boy is 15 years old... I can't say even with my freakiness I was not deviant. This is not just boys being boys, because as you can see in the video young high school women are dancing to this. Not to mention Soulja Boy is getting paid for this. Kids are exposed to so much more these days.

Powerful Wise ASS

A few weeks ago I introduced the book, The 48 Laws of Power. I gave you two laws with examples of how they can be useful. Today I will give you two more nuggets of wisdom.

Recently I have realized the importance of these next laws. I have had 3 new bosses in the last couple months. I have applied both of with my newest boss that seems to want to bother with me.

CONTROL THE OPTIONS: GET OTHERS TO PLAY WITH THE CARDS YOU DEAL.
The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.

THINK AS YOU LIKE BUT BEHAVE LIKE OTHERS
I you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

The lessons I learned in using these laws are that every boss likes to talk. So instead of arguing like I normally would, I asked for her opinion. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, because I can be a wise ass, especially when I feel like I’m smarter than my brother.

Ask The Ass Mondays - I'm BACK!!!

Yes I am back... As many of you realized I was absent last week. I do apologize for my slackness. Or maybe I was just being as ASS. Red is one of my favorite colors, especially when its women in heels. But I'm back and ready do what I do best which is be an ASS!!!!!

I have some great things in store for my readers... Soon I will doing articles on Married Women, Wise ASS, and Death/Life.

But for now write in your questions and I will give you an ass of Anwer. Its Monday!!!

Ask The Ass Mondays - Oil Cash Cow

For the newbies Its Monday!!!! I know you thinking whats the excitement... well your here at my blog and you should be excited to be here every Monday. Every Monday you get to ask the ASS questions. I will give an ASS of an opinion. So fire away and I will update the Blog post with my answers throughout the day.

The movie clip is the intro from the movie, "The Kingdom". Which is what I did this weekend, afterwhich I watched football with friends. Then I ended the evening with a nice nap on a boat, and woke up to the end of the Sunday Night Football game.

What's the Cost of FREEDOM?

Rendition is a new suspense thriller coming out this Friday. According Wikipedia, Extraordinary rendition and irregular rendition are terms used to describe the extrajudicial transfer of a person from one state to another, and the term Torture by proxy is used by some critics to describe extraordinary rendition by the United States, with regard to the alleged transfer of suspected terrorists to countries known to employ harsh interrogation techniques that may rise to the level of torture. The point of this article is not to promote the movie, but to raise an important question… What is the cost of freedom?

In this day and age terrorist attacks can happen anywhere at anytime. Terrorism is a matter of viewpoint. 9/11 was a terrible thing but how different is that than some of the things the US and other democratic Christian countries have done?

In the Bay of Pigs we funded and participated in with the “rebels" to over the Castro Cuba. From family that are navy seals and in other stealth government agencies; we have called politicians in small countries demand certain Pro-US actions or he would be killed. These conversations often occur when a team of navy seals are in the politician compounds with orders to kill them.

Whether you agree or disagree with the current war, it was the first of its kind. It was marketed to the masses through new teams on the ground streaming live footage.

Many things go into your freedom one of things are the killing of those that threaten it.

Would you rather know and see what your freedom cost or would prefer ignorance and go back to watching reality TV with a light heart?

Case of the Mondays

Its Monday... If you frequent my blog you understand what Monday means. If you are new you may be wandering what will cure your case of the Mondays? Well its ME THE ASS, I am the cure for your boring uneventful Mondays. Its ASK THE ASS MONDAYS.

No topic is off limits, ASK of the ASS what you like, but understand the answer you may not like. LET'S BEGIN

Jim - Does Anal Hurt?
I'm a man, so I don't know... But let me put this broom stick up you ASS and let the readers know next week.

Euros Vs. Dollars Would I live in India?
The Dollar will always be king, because the strength of every other economy is based on how much they sell to America. I would like to have homes on every part of the world, especially the parts that would make it financially benefitual for me to live there.

Girly Girl - Who is Jim?
Jim is an older gentleman, that is in love with a lady named Mary (who doesn't love him). He also is starting to fall in love with a female in India. Probably he wants to move there.

Ticia - When a man grabs your hand and holds it - what should you be thinking?
Well think whatever you like, whatever makes you feel good. Its a form of flirting.

Politicians - For Sale - Buy 1 Get 1 FREE!!!!!

A few years ago America was outraged of a Middle Eastern company, Dubai Port World, being in charge our ports. I’m sure most of you heard about and maybe you even wrote your Senator. I’m bringing this up, because Congress lead the way with public outrage shut down the deal. An American company was quickly found to take over the ports.

Politicians are simply puppets control by the strings of money. This year Dubai just purchased 20% of NASDAQ, the American stock exchange and also will take control of their stake in London Stock Exchange. Now how come no Congress man is on TV screaming “Outrage!!”?

Well this time Dubai spent almost $10 million between 3 Lobbying companies to get your politicians to give the deal a thumbs up. Politicians, merry puppets, spend time criticizing each other for passing laws or business deals for their fundraisers; but they all seem to sell out to the highest bidder.

Do you think it is dangerous to have politicians that are indebted servants of special interest groups, rather the “people?” And if you believe it is dangerous, what is solution for our elections? For the last, 10 or more US presidents, they have raised the most amount of money, and the “people” are not the ones funding them.

Ask The ASS - Its Monday N***a$!!!!

I hope everyone's weekend was good, my was good... not much sleep but fun non the less. For those that are new today is MONDAY, which in BlogLand it is ASK THE ASS Mondays. Mondays is the day that readers submit questions for to Andrew, which only Andrew can give an ASS of an anwser. On past mondays we have covered every from sex to politics. You can post a question and I will update the Blog throughout the day with my Fuckin' Answers...Nothing is off limits! So lets get started!!!!

DC Speaks - Is it necessary to get your friend's permission to go out with his sister when everyone is over 35 yrs old?
I would think not... I know I wouldn't ask nor expect my sister to ask my persimission since she is an adult too. Now if your friend feels that, their sister makes poor decisions like him being your friend... then I would have to yeah you might want to run it by him. But DC seems like a gentlemen with his head on straight.

Now Jim your ASS would have to ask me!!! And the answer would be NO!!!! ;D

Question Every Thing but ASK THE ASS

Its the start of the weekend, but of course my weekend started last night. I think everyday should be Friday and Saturday. Above I have given you a video of THE WORLD, a private island. I have been doing some research on Dubai. I know that ASK THE ASS Mondays are coming and you are leaving me questions, but I have several question for you.

Do people short sale themselves on how they can live because they don't believe they can live like this or is it the lack of exposure?

They build places like this... so someone has to be buying, so why not you?

You ladies and gentlemen have a good weekend, I'll be out playing but do drop me some question and I'll be sure to give you an ASS of an answer!!!

One Powerful ASS

In this week’s Ask The Ass Monday, Ced asked me what my favorite book was. Above is an interview with author Robert Greene. His book, “The 48 Laws of Power,” has sold millions of copies in 20 languages. His follow up books, “The Art of Seduction” and “The 33 Strategies of War”, will become classics as well. As Scarface and The God Father developed a cult like following in the hip hop community, Robert Greene’s book are taking their place. He is currently writing a book with 50 Cents and developing a strategy based on his books.

I am bringing this up because I would recommend this book to anyone that wants to accomplish things with their life. My disclaimer is that this should not be the first “self-help” book you read. That would be like handing a kid the controls to a stealth fighter jet and they haven’t learned to shoot a gun.

I imagine you have wonder like I have wonder before, how did that guy get the corner office? Or, how did that guy get elected to that high of an office? How did he or she get that spouse? I think indirectly you can find the answer in The 48 Laws. The trick is, understanding what LAW to use in a given situation.

Here are 2 LAWS that I have found useful on a daily basis:

BE ROYAL IN YOUR OWN FASHION: ACT LIKE A KING TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated: In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seen destined to wear a crown. Other people will believe in that destiny and help you get there.
GET OTHERS TO DO THE WORK FOR YOU, BUT ALWAYS TAKE THE CREDIT
Use the wisdom, knowledge and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what other can and will do for you.

Don’t float through life… consciously apply these LAWS and you’ll be amazed how simple the game is when you know the LAWS.

Ask The Ass Mondays - Global Initiative

CapCity - do u mind when people just GIVE u a nickname?
No I don’t mind. Since I was young I would always give myself a nickname for given environments. It create a cult like following. With nicknames you can create larger than life personas… It’s one of the things that make celebrities what they are.

Do u think blogs will evolve or dissolve?
Blogs will evolve to take the place of reality shows. Eventually technology will make it so that you can have live video blogs.

Jim - tell me cud u love some one who is 6000 miles away?
I can love someone 6000 miles away, but the question is can you have a meaningful relationship 6000 miles away? Most people like some type of affection and interaction which makes it hard.

Should Jim find some one in my own back yard?
Yes, find you someone within driving range, unless you both have your own private jet and the type of job you can do from anywhere.

Nikki - what do you enjoy about reading blogs?
Reading blogs is like reading a book while the person its writing the book. Also it seems more real when its not in a newspaper or magazine. You get the impression that you are having a conversation with a peer.

Ticia - When will she go on a Date?
I hope its this year for your sake. But I have a suggestion... Just Be friendly. Many women say the same thing you are but you look angry and unapproachable. I think your problem can be fixed with a simple smile and friendly conversation.

Ced - What are my favorite and least favorite books?
My favorite would have to be between "Think and Grow Rich" by Napolean Hill and "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. I usually don't read for per leisure. Both books list above were read for a purpose and during a time i needed to read it. I can't say I have least favorite because its all helping me get to my goal as described in my short story THE CURE.

Flavor Flav Roasting - Leave a Question

Flavor Flav has some ignorant things on his show, but his roast is hilarious!! Hope everyone has a great weekend don't forget to leave a question for Monday's Ask the ASS!!!

Ask The Ass Mondays - Jena 6

I was happy to see a peaceful demonstration this past week. However, I am highly disappointed that more time mainstream media shows American Americans and other minorities in a negative light. Until 10,000+ people came to Jena, more time has been spent on O.J.'s robbery and Mike Vick dog fighting. The media is ready to lynch these two athletes and still want to dismiss the "Jena 6" as though its not a big deal.

This Monday I would like to propose a question of own to all my readers. Are minorities preceived in a negative light because of the way they are protrayed in the media? Or is stereotyping based on fact?